Happy National Sanctity of Blastocysts Day

Looks like I missed suitably commemorating it, since it was yesterday. It's actually called "National Sanctity of Human Life Day", but as Whatever It Is I'm Against It points out, the date coincides with the anniversary of Roe vs. Wade. Which is either a very odd coincidence indeed, or a not so subtle way of reminding his fundamentalist base that George Bush feels very strongly about protecting the rights of Blastocyst-Americans. Though not so strongly, I understand, that he wouldn't wiretap their cell phones in the womb in the interests of national security. Okay, even I know that fetuses don't have cell phones--though there is evidence they carry handguns --so let's just call them stem cell phones.

On this solemn occasion the sickeningly sanctimonious smirking chimp says

Our Nation was founded on the belief that every human being has rights, dignity, and value. On National Sanctity of Human Life Day, we underscore our commitment to building a culture of life where all individuals are welcomed in life and protected in law.

America is making great strides in our efforts to protect human life. One of my first actions as President was to sign an order banning the use of taxpayer money on programs that promote abortion overseas.

Among those programs are the ones administered by the United Nations Population Fund. The Bush administration's withholding of funding from this organization for the fourth year running (a total now of $125 million) has resulted in countless unnecessary deaths, as women and children in countries around the world are denied the care they urgently need. In response, two American women founded 34 million friends of UNFPA, to try to make up for the funding shortfall through private contributions from Americans who do not share the adminstration's position.

Over the past 5 years, I also have been proud to sign into law the Born-Alive Infants Protection Act, the Unborn Victims of Violence Act, and a ban on partial-birth abortion. In addition, my Administration continues to fund abstinence and adoption programs and numerous faith-based and community initiatives that support these efforts.

Ah, yes. Abstinence education. A surefire method of preventing pregnancy and STDS, right? Or, er, not.

National Sanctity of Human Life Day is an opportunity to strengthen our resolve in creating a society where every life has meaning and our most vulnerable members are protected and defended including unborn children, the sick and dying, and persons with disabilities and birth defects. This is an ideal that appeals to the noblest and most generous instincts within us, and this is the America we will achieve by working together.

Included on the "protected" list: Blastocysts, white human females in a persistent vegetative state.

Not included: convicted criminals on Death Row (some of them juveniles at the time of the crime, some of them mentally and/or physically disabled, some of them--oops--innocent of the crime); poor, black, non-Republican residents of New Orleans; Pakistani villagers, Afghan villagers, Iraqis, detainees in American custody...

NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim Sunday, January 22, 2006, as National Sanctity of Human Life Day. I call upon all Americans to recognize this day with appropriate ceremonies and to reaffirm our commitment to respecting and defending the life and dignity of every human being.

I suggest marking the occasion by making a donation to UNFPA via 34 Million Friends.

Got any others?