Breaking news!!!

There's an insurgency in Iraq! And it's getting stronger! Apparently Iraqis don't take kindly to being occupied!

Don't worry, the New York Times is on it, in a front-page story chock-a-block with truly revelatory quotes from anonymous senior officials:

“The insurgency has gotten worse by almost all measures, with insurgent attacks at historically high levels,” said a senior Defense Department official who agreed to discuss the issue only on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak for attribution. “The insurgency has more public support and is demonstrably more capable in numbers of people active and in its ability to direct violence than at any point in time.”

The official also noted that the Earth was generally considered by most experts to be a round body that rotates on its axis, but asked not to be quoted by name on this point since he had not been authorized to speak about it. The Bush administration is trying to classify the information to prevent it reaching the general public, and has already detained some "Al Qaeda types" who were caught, by means of NSA warrantless surveillance, discussing this sensitive topic.

In this article, the Times has apparently moved beyond trying to explain the insurgency, and has simply acknowledged it as a fact of life, however mysterious the origins. Did it evolve by natural selection acting on random mutation, or is it being guided by an intelligent designer? The article doesn't speculate, focusing instead on the more pressing question of what to do about it:

“Senior administration officials have acknowledged to me that they are considering alternatives other than democracy,” said one military affairs expert who received an Iraq briefing at the White House last month and agreed to speak only on condition of anonymity.

Uh-oh.