I am the anti-Condi!
US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has been in the news lately, and so it seems like a good time to play some one-up(wo)manship. File this one under the category of shameless self-promotion.
I am the anti-Condi. Really, I am. A trusted friend and authority on world affairs told me so. See, about a year ago I posted an ad on an online dating site. (No, not in the London Review of Books. Maybe I'll try that next.) I haven't actually gotten any dates, but I like to think that's because most of the men who contact me live many thousands of miles away, and not because they find me unattractive. After all, the photos I posted of myself are at least as seductive as the one of Condi above. Anyway, I've gained a few pen-friends, we swap information about our bodies, our selves, our lives, our dogs, our fetishes, our politics, etc., and after learning more about me, including the fact that I used to play rugby for the Oxford Old Boys RFC, one fellow paid me the ultimate compliment:
Jean, you are the anti-Condi!
Jean: Plays rugby football with Old Boys in spite of disapproval of male power elite.
Condi Rice: Pretends to like American football to suck up to old boys in male power elite.
J: Former Sovietologist working for world peace.
C: Former Sovietologist working for world war.
J: Serves as mentor to Slovenes wishing to speak English as a second language.
C: Serves as mentor to president who can't speak English as a first language.
J: Sometimes gets in trouble for speaking the truth to power.
C: Lies through her ass to support those in power.
J: Bathes in Alpine streams after walking over verdant mountains.
C: Bathes in blood after walking over mountains of dead Iraqis.
This is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said about me, and I just can't help bragging.
Hey, would anyone like a date with the anti-Condi?